The Solo-Ager's Guide to Estate Planning
The Solo-Ager's Guide to Estate Planning
No kids? No problem. We’re here to help you design your support system, make the hard decisions, and build a plan that actually fits your life.
By Shannon Kennedy, Brio Financial Group
Key Takeaways:
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"But who's going to take care of you when you’re old and senile?"
Ah, yes. The question every childless person has heard approximately one million times.
Underneath that question is an assumption that's been baked into our culture forever: that you have kids, and then those kids take care of you when you’re older, and that's just how it works.
Except...it's not.
Adult children have their own families, money stress, and lives. Even the ones who desperately want to help often aren't equipped to be caregiver, executor, and financial decision-maker all rolled into one. That's just reality.
I'm what's called a "solo-ager." No kids, no defined partner, and genuinely happy about both of those choices. What I've learned, both through my own planning and through the work I do at Brio, is that financial planning for solo-agers means designing a support system that actually fits the life you're living.
And frankly, that's something everyone should be doing (kids or no kids).
Life Without a Default Script
A lot of Brio clients don't have kids or partners. It's way more common than people think, especially in the Bay Area, and especially among folks who've built gloriously nontraditional lives.
What these individuals do have is decades-long friendships, chosen family, nieces and nephews they adore, and communities they've poured themselves into.
But none of this comes with a built-in script for your estate plan. There's no legal assumption of "my daughter inherits the money" or "my son makes the medical decisions when I’m unable to myself." And yeah, that can feel scary at first. But here's the flip side: you get to be intentional.
For me, that's been weirdly liberating. I get to build my team on purpose—and you do, too.
Related: Estate Planning for Chosen Family, Blended Lives, and Nontraditional Paths
When we help you design your plan (regardless of your family status), we ask:
What do you want your resources to do?
Who do you want to help?
What has actually mattered to you?
For me, I found those answers in my community, from Muttville (a senior dog rescue where I got my first dog) to Little Brothers - Friends of the Elderly (an organization I volunteer with that tackles loneliness among older San Franciscans). These are the meaningful parts of my life that I want to keep supporting even after I'm gone.
Your Life Plan Is Bigger Than Your Estate Plan
Many aging plans focus on what you want to happen after you pass away or are otherwise incapacitated. At Brio, we think about aging as an ecosystem that includes how you actually want to live the rest of your life (while you're still here to enjoy it).
We typically break this into four areas:
Housing and living environment. Does your home work for an older version of you (first-floor bedroom, doorways wide enough for a walker)? And if staying put doesn't make sense forever, what does? For example, some of our clients have moved into aging-in-place communities and discovered a whole new social life in the process.
Healthcare planning. What are your care preferences? Do you have an advanced directive? Who coordinates if you need ongoing care? We've literally gone with clients to tour facilities, because sometimes you need backup for those conversations.
Decision-making structures. We covered this above, but it bears repeating: who steps in if something changes? Getting this in writing means no one's scrambling or guessing when it actually matters.
Social connection and purpose. As you age, your world can shrink: your circle gets smaller, mobility changes, and suddenly you're spending a lot of time alone (which is fine if you like yourself but brutal if you don't). Building connections intentionally, especially before you need them, is one of the smartest things you can do.
We help you work through these questions, put them on paper, and revisit them regularly. Because life changes, and your plan should too.
Building Your Team: Who Does What (And Why It Doesn't Have to Be the Same Person)
When there's no default support system, the planning questions shift. It's less "who gets Grandma's china" and more "who's going to handle my shit if I can't."
We want to help make sure you have all the key players in place in case those worst-case scenarios come to fruition, including:
A financial power of attorney. This is the person who manages your money if you're incapacitated. They need to be organized, responsible, and not freaked out by spreadsheets.
Healthcare proxy. This person speaks for you medically when you can't speak for yourself. They need to know your values, your wishes, and what kind of care you'd actually want. Ideally, they're someone who won't crumble under pressure and can advocate for you, even when doctors are being pushy or all the different hospital beeping noises become unbearable.
Executor. This is the person who handles your estate when you're gone. Again: organized, responsible, able to deal with paperwork and logistics without having a breakdown. It also helps if they have strong people skills.
Here's what I didn't know before Brio: these absolutely do not have to be the same person.
In fact, they probably shouldn't be. Your most emotionally intelligent friend might be a disaster with finances. Your hyper-organized cousin might not be the right person to make gut-wrenching medical calls. When you split up those responsibilities, you can play to people's strengths.
Another increasingly popular option is to hire a “professional fiduciary.” This is someone who's trained, vetted, and paid to manage financial or healthcare decisions on your behalf. They're not emotionally tangled up in your family drama, and they won't be secretly resentful that you left the lake house to someone else. They just do the job.
Starting the Conversation
While you can technically name pretty much anyone in these roles without their approval, you really shouldn't. People deserve the chance to say yes, ask questions, or gracefully bow out. Having the conversation upfront means everyone knows what they're signing up for, and you're not leaving someone blindsided during an already difficult moment.
Related: Click here to read “Financial Intimacy 101: Why Money Accidentally Becomes Power in Relationships”
And we know that asking your niece if she'd be willing to be your executor or telling a close friend you'd like them to be your healthcare proxy can feel vulnerable, awkward, and loaded. That’s why we sit in the room for these conversations: on the phone, on Zoom, or in person if that's what you need. We act as a buffer, help outline the options, and make sure nobody feels ambushed.
Because having a financial plan is great, but having someone in your corner while you navigate the human stuff? That's everything.
Your Life, Your Plan, Your People
If you're a solo-ager (or just someone who's never quite fit the traditional mold), we see you. We've got you. And we're here to help you be intentional with the support systems you build, the decisions you make, and the legacy you live every day.
If any of this sparked questions about your own estate or retirement plan, reach out anytime. We’d love to hear from you.
And if you're not part of the family yet, we invite you to book a complimentary Make It Happen meeting. Together, we’ll find out what you really want your life to look like (and how we can bring it into reality).
This material presented by Brio Financial Group (“Brio”) is for informational purposes only and is not intended to serve as a substitute for personalized investment advice or as a recommendation or solicitation of any particular security, strategy, or investment product. Facts presented have been obtained from sources believed to be reliable, however Brio cannot guarantee the accuracy or completeness of such information, and certain information presented here may have been condensed or summarized from its original source. Brio does not provide legal or tax advice, and nothing contained in these materials should be taken as legal or tax advice. Advisory services are only offered to clients or prospective clients where Brio and its representatives are properly licensed or exempt from licensure. No advice may be rendered by Brio Financial Group unless a client service agreement is in place.
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